长篇鬼故事 - 长留

晚饭时候何妈做了好几道鱼，鲜美无比。我和安瑶坐在桌子的两边，静静吃完饭。我回屋，看着镜子里的自己，天真稚嫩的脸庞和眼底流露出的诡异的快乐。兰姨、爸爸、安瑶，你们幸福快乐的时候，有没有看见背后有一双眼睛在看你们呢？我拿出一个好看的卡通罐子，里面都是是白色的糖片，我故意跑去客厅让安瑶看见。嗜糖如命的安瑶问我要，我心底的笑意越发强烈，脸上却是一副护食的样子。她从我手里抢过罐子，抓起一大把糖片塞进嘴里，对我翻个白眼。我若无其事地回了房间，记得今夜好像有雨呢。这样大的房子，夜半打雷时总是显得万分可怖。窗外乌云低沉地压下来，开始狂风大作，院子里的树被风撕扯着，卷走一地绿叶的尸体。我抬头看看表，差不多了。我找到安瑶时她正在床上捂着肚子，豆大的汗珠不停地从额头滚落，脸色呈现异常的紫红，她一直哭，刺耳的哭声回荡在这座大宅中，更添几分悚然。我那一瞬间很想笑，我慢慢靠近她，用手狠狠掐着她的小脸，“让你抢我的东西！让你抢我的裙子！让你妈妈打我！让你欺负我！”我用力撕扯着，把指甲深深陷入安瑶脸上柔嫩的皮肤。几乎每说完一句话，就能听到安瑶的哭声更尖锐一分。她的脸被我的指甲掐破，红肿不堪。天渐渐黑下来，窗外树影摇动，平日灯火通明的房子今天却黑得诡异。我找出破碎的裙子，“你不是很喜欢它吗？我今天就给你穿上！”我拿出强力胶胡乱地将布片和纱裙粘在安瑶身上，恶狠狠地试图贴满她的每一寸皮肤，让她的身上都是密密麻麻的碎布，强力胶的味道让我恶心。安瑶不断哭喊，撕心裂肺地叫。我用尽全身力气捶打她，踢她，我明明笑得很开心，可是直到最后，我不想再打她的时候，自己却没出息地哭。

“安瑶，你疼不疼？你知不知道我也疼，你妈妈打我，爸爸不喜欢我，你想淹死我，连你的小伙伴都欺负我！”我声音颤抖着，忍不住哭出声。我猛然对着安瑶的胳膊咬了下去，用尽全身力气，安瑶用尖利的声音叫喊着，我感觉到嘴里都是血腥味，松口时她的皮肉已经几乎要和胳膊分离。房子里回荡着她的哭叫声。何妈被我打发回了家，外面开始下雨，雨声渐大，没人知道屋里究竟发生了什么。“安瑶，你去陪陪我妈妈吧，她一个人好可怜，好可怜。她每晚都站在我的床边，每晚我的床边站了好多人，妈妈，奶奶……安瑶，你中毒了！安瑶，再见！再见……”我紧紧扼住她的脖子，不断加大手上的力度，安瑶拼命挣扎也无济于事，我闭上眼睛用尽全身力气将她死死按住。慢慢地她没了动静，我张开眼睛，她的脸变得微微发紫，依然惊恐地张着眼睛，我颤巍巍松了手。死了，就不痛了……

午夜时分，爸爸和兰姨回到家中。大雨仍在继续，夹杂着雷电。这一天的宅子散发着不寻常的气息，他们呼唤多声，都不见何妈的踪影。穿过走廊时，看见地下躺着好几只平日里爸爸喜爱的鸟雀。有的已经被踩扁，肠子从破碎的身体流出；有的身上被插满了镜子的碎片，镜子反射着冰冷的光。爸爸皱着眉头，脸上满是怒色。就在他们推开卧室门的那一刹那，兰姨的尖叫声划破了诡异的夜晚。他们看见的，是卧室的床上躺着一具漂亮的尸体，她一直笑着，睁大了眼睛，只可惜嘴角和眼皮上密密麻麻都是黑色的线，像一个恐怖的布娃娃。我用黑色的棉线一针一线地缝起她的眼皮嘴角，针线穿过皮肉的感觉滑腻柔软，皮肤出现褶皱，再被我用力拉扯平整。她的眼周和嘴边布满了黑色的线，像是漂亮脸蛋上出现的裂纹。最后，我用小尖刀狠狠刺烂了她的下巴和四肢，一刀一刀，几乎血肉模糊。红色的血涌动而出，流淌不止。我从窗帘背后走出来，咯咯地笑，正巧闪电划亮夜空，照着我浑身是血天真无邪的模样，眼底是幽灵般的寂静。我的笑声越来越大，在空荡的房间里回荡。那双你们背后的眼睛，你们如今看见了？兰姨脸色惨白，大叫一声，直接晕了过去。爸爸颤抖着用手指着我，正要向我走来，水晶灯突然“啪”的一声砸落到安瑶身上，把她稚嫩的脸砸得支离破碎。

如今，我在一家如同疯人院般的疗养中心。自从我被送过来，就没有人来看过我，也没有人还记得我。听说后来姨疯了，整日对着身边的人哭喊着叫安瑶的名字，告诉别人她从一开始就该是安家的女主人，还多次试图伤人。爸再也没有音信。每当我想起那个雷雨交加的夜晚，安瑶破碎的脸和兰姨发疯的叫喊，我的心中就充满着巨大的开心失落。如今我总觉得每晚我的床边站着的人又多了一个，我不是孤单的。

天际模糊一如漠北的荒原，我抗拒着所有妄图靠近我的人。时至今日我方才明白，我一直都是被遗弃的。那些人情冷暖永远与我无关，声嘶力竭或是低声呜咽都是麻木的抗争。我捧着自己的心生活，它才不疼。有时抬眼望着天上的云彩，走得那样快。也许在不久的将来我也要死了吧，想想我快十岁了呢。我只是很舍不得，没有遇见过疼爱我的人，也没有看过这个世界好看的模样，终归我还是个孩子啊。如果可以的话，今年的生日愿望是让我好好睡一觉，让所有的人，都长留梦里。

再后来我已经不恨爸爸妈妈、兰姨安瑶了，我知道我渴求的那些温暖关怀宠爱幸福，对于安茔来说，这辈子，恐怕都是奢望。

纵然死亡才是长留，可是如果能够选择，我也真的会希望，能够有人爱过我。

创作谈：

前阵子有个想法，要和陌生人合照。照片里小孩子的眼睛总是透彻得让人不敢直视。小孩子总是这样，爱得单纯，恨得也单纯。一直想写篇犯罪低龄化的文，终于想来想去落笔了。

Introduce:I make install grave. Orchid aunt says my name unlucky, perhaps because of such, so she all the time since can be in charge of me to cry only " small base goods " , or " feed " . Orchid aunt grows very beautifully, when she scolds me, can resemble extremely a cat, provoking be fed up with. That pair of pattern that if see her,does not know father really still can like her so. Listening to a grandma to say is to call An Ying before me, but fortune-telling gentleman says my the five elements lacks soil, just changed " grave " , but the means that I know this word, graveyard. My mother died before a year. Actually mom is one admires than orchid aunt beauty the woman of 100 thousand times, but pretty woman appears not simple. She dies mysteriously, be be pushed drown after next lakes in the lake. That lake is in environs, know without the person why mom can go there, almost everything have no way is checked. When mom is scooped up I am looking so that entered a mind aside, somebody comes over to cover at once my eye, but I still caught a glimpse of mom is gotten by bubble wrinkled face, it is detached that the skin and flesh resemble, tumid body still is dripping water. Look ugly dirty, ferial li of slight corneal opacity that a grey black cheated above clever eye, was to should break away from orbit almost, as among have sticky stiff liquid reluctance is maintaining pattern. I already 9 years old, although people always says my unlike child of 9 years old, because I reject to go to school,perhaps be and Gu Li is eccentric. There is money very much in my home, live very big house, have very expensive car and the incomputable person that visit. I am that 4 years old years, by stranger kidnap, that is a gloomy and cold medicine lab. I forgot the detail of his appearance and that thing, remember the pungent odour in the lab and various specimens deeply however, without the baby of the conglomerate form of rachis, afterbrain spoon was short of the baby of the half, the baby that adhesion of hands or feet is together, still have a few framework and a few organs. Since then I also do not like to go to the person's much place again, do not like very bright very the room of dazzling. Mom postmortem the 3rd month, in the home by white rubescent, orchid aunt became the new goodwife in the home. I feel all the time father mother very conjugal love. Since father have from inside mom abdomen is informed in cadaver check report about after what some shape is fetal, removed the portrait of the deceased in the home, be like gone that individual is the servant in the home only just. Police maintains dead Yu Mou to kill, the murderer is mom's lover, he pushed her after intense brawl lake, then mom also fails to come up again. And the after the event after father is being handled begins to busy again the business, had not happened like everything. Be willing without the person bother about I, because of me dissocial and barpque, the person in the home is close to me rarely. Orchid aunt brought a little girl of 3 years old, the name cries